Aenonfire Live After Four Long Years

Where To Start

Yeah, where to start? That's a good question. Today as I'm writing this blog entry my mind is just swimming with thoughts. I'm thinking back to the year 2004 when the Lord gave me the direction to start this whole venture. Maybe I should tell you all a bit about that.

The first event so to speak happened when I was at church at the altar after service. Honestly, I can't tell you what the reason for the altar call was, but I can tell you that at that point of my life (2004) I was pretty much at my lowest. My freelance business was really hit and miss and each gig that I got just covered the bills that piled up when there wasn't a gig the month before. There were many services that I ended up walking to in the dead of New York January winter because I didn't have the train fare.

I remember one particular walk back home after a Tuesday nite service in January. We had a blizzard and the streets were so quiet because of the pile-up of snow. Well, I was walking home and had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I just started to break down and cry, and by cry I mean snot down the nose type of crying. I yelled out to God "When am I going to get out of this!" It was just one of those time periods.

Back At The Altar

So back to the altar. I remember standing there with my eyes closed and something happened. This thought came into my mind about my freelance business. It came out of nowhere. Now, just a little background about my freelance biz. I had been working freelance since 1998 first doing photography and album design work and then later web design. I loved it, and I cherished it. Even though sometimes rent wasn't getting paid I held onto it with every fiber of my being.

The next thing that happened was something that I don't say lightly. I felt the Lord speak with me, it was in my heart and He said what makes you think that if you give me your business that I won't give it back to you? At that point I just about fell down on the floor from the mere fact that He had communicated with me, but I didn't do that. I was given courage by that and said to the Lord Ok, you can have it, I give it to you, whatever you want to do with it.

Fast Forward

It was about three months after that event that the big one took place. Again, I was at the altar after service and again, I can't remember the particular reason for the altar call. But I do remember what happened explicitly. A complete and total surge of information was inputed into me, it came so fast that I couldn't keep up with it. It started: Aenonfire, online magazine... followed by many things that as I mentioned I couldn't keep up with. I've never experienced anything like that before. What was just absolutely crazy about it was Aenonfire.

I came up with that name quite a time before all of this happened and honestly I had no idea what I was going to do with it, it just seemed cool. But here it was in full force with direction behind it. Hindsight now shows me that even though I'm working full time presently, the first event where I layed my freelance business out before God was the foundation for the magazine. It's as if I finally got to the point where I let God in and allowed Him to take it over completely. This was one of the hardest steps I'd ever had to take because I had a very twisted perception of who God was.

Prior to all of this I had the idea that God was someone who wanted to spoil everyone's fun and if He did tell anyone to do something, well it most certainly wasn't going to be fun. I had this concept that the talents, the creative things that I enjoyed in my life were somehow separate from Him and if I was to fully give all of that to Him, He was definitely going to take it away and make me be a missionary or evangelist. It was so ingrained in my mind that once someone becomes a Christian that they were then to completely leave everything in their past- good or bad.

What I didn't realize was that God is an investor. He makes wise investments, not only that but He helps out so that they become fruitful. As creatives, God has given us these abilities so that they will grow and prosper. Furthermore, He gave us these things that we absolutely live for. Artists live for art, Musicians live for music, Writers live to write and on down the line. That passion that we have for creating came from Him and He wants us to go for it, but most importantly He wants us to do it along side Him, it all has to start and end with Him.

Shouts

I want to thank those who have played a pivotal part in this magazine whether its encouragement, inspiration or lending expertise. Most of all I thank the Lord for this gig, it blows me away just thinking about it, if I had to pick one myself I couldn't have come up with one this good. So as my friend Marlon says Let's do the thing!